My Latest Tweet:
Occasionally on Fridays, I give away a free resource. Today I have a rusty metal texture that I photographed last fall. I’ve used it a lot of times already as a background texture. It is roughly 3250 pixels wide by 2300 tall. It’s all yours…for free…just click the button below to download it. Enjoy!
We all have something we’re passionate about. If we’re lucky, we get to pursue that passion in our current work. For me, it’s leveraging new technologies and new processes to make a difference in the world. No matter what we love to do, there’s going to come a time where we get a “no.”
The “no” might be to a proposal. It might be a “no” to a sales call. It might be to an idea. We might get a “no” when we ask for more budget. It could be an informal or subtle “no” to a request for your leader to lead or clarify the vision & mission of your organization. There are all types of “no.” While some of these are easier to accept than others, there are several things I think we can do when we get them:
1. Accept it, submit, and move forward.
There are times where the “no” addresses a preference or a request that isn’t all that significant. We might have a way that we’d prefer and would love to get our way with a “yes,” however a “no” to the preference isn’t that big of a deal.
There might be other situations where we strongly disagree with the “no,” but the best thing is still to trust the leadership that God has put in place over us and, though disappointed, need to submit to that leadership.
2. Change our request.
It might be that we’re getting a “no” because the other person doesn’t know what we’re asking for. Or, perhaps, we don’t really know what it is we’re asking for. Maybe our need is unclear. Could it be restated? If there were clarity, would it lead to a “yes?”
Most of the time we’re headed toward the same goal as the person giving us the “no” and it could be that the other person knows better than we do. When such is the case, we need to either change our request or accept the “no” and move forward (back to #1).
3. Find the “yes” behind the “no”
I heard this phrase one time and it has changed the way I think about “no’s” – both the ones I’ve given and the “no’s” I’ve received. Behind every “no” is a “yes.”
For example, when I was Communications Director at Calvary Church, I often received requests that I had to decline. It almost seemed like my main job function was to say “no.” Maybe we didn’t have the staff or resources to fulfill the request. Maybe the request didn’t fit our mission. Things worked out best when I could give a “yes” behind the “no.”
The same idea can be applied when we receive a “no” from others. If our manager gives us a “no” to a budget request for new software, maybe we can turn it into a yes if we can find a way to offset the cost. When a leader, for example, gives us a “no” to casting a clearer vision, is there something we can do to help them say yes? Perhaps we can write up a set of expectations, parameters, or a vision document that helps them give us what we need? Get a “no” on an idea for a new program or system? Find the reason for the “no.” It’s often linked to some fear or sense of damage that could occur from saying “yes.” People are conditioned to avoid risk – so if our “yes” seems risky, it’ll come back as a “no.”
There is always a “yes” behind the “no!” If we’re creative, we can find it and leverage it to turn the “no” into a “yes.”
4. Stand up for our convictions.
There are some times when we are right and the person giving us the “no” is wrong. In these instances, we need to humbly stand our ground and stand up for what we believe. It helps if there is a relational history of grace and if we have a mutual trust with those we’re pushing against.
It’s also important to know that we can’t dip into this well very often or we will lose credibility and we will bankrupt the relational account.
Having stated that, I firmly believe God has created each of us with unique gifts and abilities. He gives each of us convictions. We need to honor him by standing up for those convictions. Also, we were likely put in the position we currently hold because someone values our knowledge, expertise, and giftedness in an area. Our opinions are valuable and any healthy organization will encourage healthy, unfiltered debate and will want push-back.
5. Get off the bus
If it comes right down to it and we believe the “no” goes against principles and convictions that God has given us, and we can’t find the “yes” behind the “no,” we need to move on. I have few regrets in life, but most of them go back to when I let fear drive my decision to stay on a bus that was going to a place where I knew I wasn’t called to be.
Image Credit: Dimitri Castrique
We owe it to ourselves to be a part of something we are 100% on board with. Life is too short to cheat ourselves (and God) out of our best. We need to be hustling toward the vision we’ve been given. We also owe it to the person giving us the “no” to get out of their way and let them find someone who agrees with them.
My experience has been (and continues to be even now) that when we do the right thing in responding to a “no,” God honors those actions and blesses our lives.
Have you every received a “no?” How did you respond? Is there anything I missed? I’d love your input in the comments!
Occasionally on Tuesdays I give you my thoughts, unfiltered and off the top of my head. Here’s what I’m thinking about this week.
That’s what’s going on in my world this week…what’s up with you?
Yes, I realize it’s Monday…but, I wanted to get this free resource out to you guys anyway. It is 3 HD motion backgrounds (a blue, green, and purple version). Here is a preview of the green one.
All you have to do is complete the form below, and you’ll be taken to the download page. (I do not use this info in any way other than to keep a tally on how many people are downloading these resources to make sure it’s worthwhile to keep providing them.)
Occasionally on Thursdays I give you my thoughts, unfiltered and off the top of my head. Here is what I’m thinking about today…
I’m glad the holidays are over. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas and New Years and traveling and family…but I’m ready to get back into the normal routine and the important work God has called us to!
I recently wrote an article for MediaSalt. It’s the 12 Things Communications Directors Want To Tell Their Senior Pastos in 2012. Check it out and let me know your thoughts on it!
Check out these simple graphics I created for Calvary Church’s Need 2 Know videos.
Did you pick up the free resources I’ve been giving away? Jump over here for a 2012 Bulletin template!
I’ve also cranked out a couple of free Photoshop quick-tip tutorials. You can watch them here and here. Stay tuned here for more quick-tips.
I’ve been studying up, trying to become efficient in content marketing. It’s really important in an overall communication strategy. If you’re a communicator, you might want to study up on it.
I’ve been asked to be the leader of the CFCC Job & Freelance Boards, and the Church Marketing Lab. I blog about them occasionally at ChurchMarketingSucks.com too. If you are a church or church-related non-profit and are looking for some help, the job boards are a great place to find quality folks! If you’re a church communications guru looking for work, check out the boards. (Have any questions about the labs…email me!) If you already work in the church comm world, we’d love to see your work in the Marketing Lab and have your voice there. The collective wisdom of the group is much greater than any individual.
The Path app has gained a lot of popularity recently, but I just can’t seem to get in to it. I like the simplicity and focus of it, but it’s just not gaining traction in my social media flow. Maybe I didn’t give it a good chance…but it’s just not doing anything for me.
I have some cool upcoming opportunities that I hope to be able to tell you about soon. Here are a few teasers:
I recently started following Gary Vaynerchuk on Twitter. Love his insights and passions.
Last, but not least, I still have a few sponsorship opportunities available for this blog. If you’re interested, click on the sponsor link at the top of the page and check out the options.
That’s all from me. What’s up in your world.
Most people know that you can create guides in Photoshop to help you with design and layout. Typically guides are created by dragging them out from the ruler or by manually typing in a ruler measurement from the View > New Guide menu. However, they can also be created using percentages. This quick tutorial video shows you how…
God taught me a lot in 2011. So many lessons that I can’t list all of them, but here are the top 11:
11. Almost no decision made out of fear is a good decision.
I’ve seen it far too often. Leaders make radically courageous decisions that allow them to get into positions of influence, then they make decisions out of fear in order to keep from losing their followers. It’s usually those latter decisions meant to minimize danger that cause the most harm.
One of my resolutions in life is to not make any decision out of fear. The circumstances of 2011 have proven this to be a worthy goal.
10. Be yourself.
Lots of people will try to change us into what they want us to be, but God has uniquely gifted us and given us our personality. He has made us who we are and it’s much better to ‘lean into’ our calling and to leverage it than to try to be something we are not. That’s not to say we shouldn’t try to improve on our weaknesses (see lesson 9) and character flaws; but, we shouldn’t let other people tell us who we should be.
9. It’s better to work on your strengths than your weaknesses.
We all have weaknesses. We all have strengths. As Marcus Buckingham has been saying for a couple of years now, we get a much better return on our efforts and time when we try to minimize our weaknesses and maximize our strengths.
8. Those you trust will let you down.
I don’t mean to be a downer but it’s true. People are people — and the more we put our trust in flawed people, the higher the likelihood that someone close to us will let us down. I know I’ve let a lot of people down this year; and, I’ve been let down by some people I trust.
On the flip side, I’ve been surprised, overwhelmed, and humbled by how some people have come through in amazing ways. I’ve been blessed with some amazing friends…and I’m so thankful for them.
7. Nobody is truly an expert in social media.
Social media is young. Very young. There are some people out there who know a lot about it. None of us are experts yet.
6. Leaders have a responsibility to those they lead.
I once heard someone say that you can’t expect something from someone who doesn’t have the capacity or ability to give it. If that person is a leader (and aren’t we all), I call B.S. on that. If you are a leader, you have a responsibility to provide for the needs of those you lead. The fact that the needs of your followers are an area of weakness for you is no excuse. Either figure out how to legitimately provide it or get out of the way of someone who can.
5. Building in to others is not overrated.
It has been my privilege to build into the next generation over the past few years. This includes teaching at a (relatively) large university and personally mentoring some people who directly report to me. I believe part of personal growth is finding someone to build in to.
4. Leadership training might be over-rated.
Leaders never stop learning. Over the past 10 years I’ve had the privilege of attending dozens of leadership training sessions. From conferences to workshops, to classes and books, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard every cheesy leadership one-liner out there. I am nowhere near where I would like to be in my personal leadership journey. One thing I’m learning though is that leadership is better caught than taught (see, there is one of those cheesy one-liners). Formal teaching sessions on leadership have their place, for sure. But, if we really want to take our leadership skills to the next level we need to find someone who is already there and walk in their shadow for a while.
And, please, please, please — I beg of you: If you are in a position of power (as opposed to authority) and don’t have your junk worked out, please don’t require those who serve under you to go to leadership workshops. Provide them opportunities to grow. But don’t require that which you aren’t prepared to do yourself.
3. What we do is important.
Those of us in the communications/media/content/marketing/branding/messaging industry have a very, very important role in today’s society. Don’t let the nay-sayers tell you otherwise. The stakes are too high. One of the most important things I’ve learned this year is that God has called me to do this thing that I do and I’m going to do my best to live up to that calling.
2. Communication with those you love is of the upmost importance.
It is ironic that as I look back over my biggest failures over the past year, the ones that horrify me the most are where I didn’t do a good job communicating with the ones I love. I could’ve told my kids (or, even better, demonstrated to my kids) that I love them more. I could’ve been more patient and could’ve had more empathy. I could’ve shared my big goals and dreams with my amazing wife. As a communications guy, I certainly need to learn to communicate better!
1. God is incredibly faithful.
There have been many times of uncertainty in the past months. Without hesitation, I can say that my faith has been stretched and God has proven faithful time and time again. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’d love to dialog with you about my faith journey these past months and explore how God could come through for you as well.
What about you? What are your lessons from 2011? I’d love to hear from you…
Happy New Year!
Occasionally on Friday, I give away a free resource to help make the life of church communications folks better.
This week’s resource is a service bulletin/handout template to get you started in 2012.
In the download is an InDesign file, a template in MS Word, and the raw graphics for you to choose from.
Let me know if you use it (not because you have to…just because I’d be interested in knowing if this type of thing is useful to provide in the future). If you need it customized in any way, let me know and we’ll see what we can work out.
Enjoy
What you do is incredibly important (otherwise God wouldn’t have you doing it).
The impact you can make is enormous.
The number of people you can reach is vast.
The stories you can re-write are waiting.
Opportunity exists today like it never has before. Please don’t waste it with a vision that is too small. Dream big! Be remarkable. Go somewhere amazing and take us with you.
[Disagree? Prove me wrong!]
